Moments When life Stands Still (my feelings when i take a look outside my window)

The first thing that catches my eye when I look outside my window is the lawn just outside my room. Looking at it on a sunny day I get overwhelmed by the graceful and sober sun that shines on us everyday, no excuses given. On a cloudy day, the lush green leaves otherwise, look pale and dull and them bending downwards remind me of the melancholic times I have had in my life.
 And then during/after a downpour, the view gets more significant.There is an indifferent contrast in the atmosphere. The leaves getting washed away remind me of the changes I have been through and of the ones that are yet to come. The exquisite petrichor feels like no other.

On a similar note, recently this thought struck me on why I get the urge to look out of the window. After series of linked random thoughts, I realized that it was when I had thought much about something and words did not do justice to what I was thinking. When the conscious is exhausted, I look out of the window to let my unconscious do the work, seeking for an answer to the mysteries I have been dwelling with.
On looking outside, I notice people moving constantly, caught up in their tight work ethics. They have so much on their plates that they don't know who they are except their physical selves. I am forced to convince myself to believe that they are not at all aware of their existence.

The lawn also reminds me of the bountiful amount of time I have enjoyed playing football on it. It instantaneously triggers a movie in my head, a plot in which the virile "me" am playing football while the other "Me" is watching "myself" play, and all of this being watched by a third me standing beside the lawn with the hands in my pocket. (:s ?)

I also came to realize that I usually Reflect on my life as I look out of the window, much like the thoughts that arise while looking out of a window when one has got a comfortable window seats while traveling on a bus or a train.It is similar to the feel of emptiness when you stick your head out of the window and try not to close the eyes while the wind blows on your face at great pace. I try not to close my eyes no matter how fast the wind is blowing on my face, much
I reflect on my accomplishments and think about accepting things as they are while constantly striving for better, unlike the conservatory approach of running away from reality and wasting time.

I usually see the whole looking out of the window thing as a "me" looking at the world from an isloated place outside it as a "nobody".
That exactly is how i feel when i look out of the window. 

Things I have always loved.

These are the small things that i can recollect which give/have given me joy more than anything else.

- Sitting in the backseat of the school bus when it is speeding over a bump

- The smell of rain/wet mud.

- Off-Mondays.

- Finding money you dont even know you lost.

- Eating that last bite of the dessert.

- Sneezing 3-4 times in row.

- Sneaking into the college's swimming pool.

- Picking scabs.

- The feeling you get right after you vomit.

- Talking about how much a meal at home would cost at a restaurant.

- Walking barefoot on the beach.

- When you cut off your big toenail.

- Silence (deaf silence).

- When the socks from the drawyer match perfectly at home.

- Sleeping with only boxers.

- Getting away with incomplete things.

- New-socks day.

- The sound of the rain from inside the tent.

- Sneaking under someone-else's umbrella.

- Scaring away other dogs by throwing stones at them so that your dog can boss around at the street.

- That feeling inside ur stomach during a bungy jump.

- The final stages of untangling a really messy knot.

- Tuning the guitar perfectly.

I love these things. AMEN

Yes, I am absent-minded!

I woke up today being asked for the key to my bike. For a moment,I struggled to put my thoughts straight.After getting back to the frame realized I had no trace of where I had kept them “Last Night”. And NO, I wasn’t drunk and no pot was involved.  Still hastily I dismantled my locker and found them in my front pocket of the pants that I had put on yesterday. Later today, an hour later, I wanted my calculator in class. I checked my bag and they were not where they were supposed to be. However, this caught me with much less dismay as I had gone through a similar situation earlier today. Then I checked under the bench I sat yesterday, luckily it was still there.

Now this is not anything new on my daily routine. I tend to forget things often and then start tracing backwards. This “tracing backwards” tends to help me recollect my bits and peices of the ever-absent memory.

Sometimes, I enter a friend’s room and completely forget why I walked in. Unfortunately sometimes I am bound to think that my short-term memory isn’t so good. On the contrary I have been maintaining good GPA and am good at other things as well. But today, I reached that breaking point. I realised that believing that “my brain just thinks that there are other important things to remember than where i kept my key or whom i gave my book to” makes things worst.

To prevent this forgetfulness to take over my daily routine, I keep a memo on my phone. Most of the smartphones today give the “To-do-list” app and a memo along with it. That helps me keep things up to date. Another solution that proved effective for me is to keep certain fixed places for every item I use on a regular basis, for example the key always goes on top of the shelf, my pen drive always on the side pocket of the school bag etc.

However I feel this is not the right approach to this problem. The solution that will prove to be most effective over a long-term scenario is to “keep the mind alert at all times”. Everybody has seen a guy who doesn’t keep memos but still exactly knows even the smallest of the things he gave or did a week before. This is due to a routine they follow of keeping the mind alert at all times. They have an automatic log that runs on their head, that keeps track of even the smallest things they do. Recalling becomes very easy after that. This is not mere talent, it is simply routine. 

Another solution is to stop multitasking in the head. When I am doing simple things like copying a text from another notebook, I tend to think about other “which my brain thinks important” things and loose the alertness on what I am doing, being a small or a big task. I tend to lose my concentration on the smaller task eventually getting me side-tracked. 

Thus, I feel I need to develop a sort of mental check-list rather than depending upon my smartphone or any other physical means. I like to think this because all wise/smart men have done so and have convinced me enough that it was the right thing to do.

I'd be happy to receive any help relating to this.